With And Without Her

"It has been almost three years now. What do I say? I wish she had not passed away. I feel lonely. There is a big difference with and without her. There was love in everything. I wish she had not passed away. My kids have grown up. And bringing another wife would not be right. When she was there, there was control and security. I would tell her, “Budi, I have earned this sum of money, let us do something.” She is not here and I tend to spend money without care, recklessly. She was a good person. She spoke with respect to her elders and her relatives. She never used a bad word towards anyone. She was a happy kind of person. The villagers remember her. They say, ‘Such a good person died’. She started having fever and we bought her here. The reports said she had a bad liver. Immediately her urination stopped. It happened three times and the doctor said that the treatment was not possible. She died in the hospital. I remember once we went to Dakhshinkali Temple, kids and all. My mother in law had come to visit us and we had a very good time together with the family. There was a lot of joy. In earlier days, we would go watch movies. After the kids grew up, those things were not possible. There is a big difference with and without her.” (Sanu Kancha Belkuti, Champi 7, Lalitpur)