The Story of A Dancer

Published22 January 2018

Reading Time 2 mins

Author Stories of Nepal

Location Nepal

(Part 2/2) “I came to Kathmandu and a few people from the transgender community of the city took me in. But my addiction has gotten so bad that I was asked to leave. I had again become homeless, but I needed drugs. I started engaging in sexual activities for money. It was quick money to sustain my addiction. My struggle for my gender identity continued and now there was the added guilt and shame to what I had become. The drugs had made me physically incapable of doing anything. I started aimlessly roaming around Basantapur barefoot, insane and helpless. I had gone mad. I had hit rock bottom. I was lucky that a rehab took me and saved me from self-destruction. In the rehab, I got to think. The effects of drugs were slowly tapering off and and finally it occurred to me. I started seeing how my fears had entrapped me. The fears of what others might say and think about me had made me live a false life. Finally, I was able to gather courage and I decided to accept my gender and come out in the open. I started getting myself involved in advocacy for people who like me have to suffer solely because of their gender identity. It was my decision to embrace my gender that ultimately became a starting point in my new life. I clearly remember, on February 2011, for the first time in my life, I put on a high waist skirt, a t-shirt and high heels and walked in the open as a transgender woman. And in doing so, I had finally found freedom.” (Rhina Limbu, Kathmandu)

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