The Dreams He Left Behind

"He turned out to be better than what my relatives had told me. He never drank and never argued with anyone. If someone came asking for help he would give everything he had. When we married, I was probably 16 and he was a few years older than me. He worked as an elephant mahout, while I did households for the well-to-do neighbours. We did not have everything but we have managed to make a home and together, we had a life. His work required him to be with his elephant but every few weeks he would come running home. I would prepare him the food he liked. He never chose meat over vegetables, never complained over a pebble in the rice. He would eat anything I served and he complimented my cooking. We were made for each other, no doubt. That morning, they called him at work saying an elephant has fled towards the jungle and they needed him to bring him back. He had left in a hurry. I could not even put him some food or pickles to take away. After 5 days, someone came calling at my door and said, 'Your husband has called for you. He has fallen from the elephant's back and he is hurt. Please come with us at once'. My youngest son was only a few months then, so I wrapped him in a cloth and darted towards where my husband was. It was only after I reached there, they broke it to me. They said, “Please hold your heart for it is going to hurt for the rest of your life. You have children to look after. Mourn but also accept your destiny.” My husband was no more. As I wailed, Narayani was flooding the nearby villages. The son I had in my lap was taken away in another room. I had become a widow. The elephant he was looking after had killed him. Happy days turned to darkness. As I cursed my fate, the faces of my children flashed in front of my eyes. A voice told me not to abandon them to my sorrow for I was the only family they had now. I had lost my husband but they had lost their father too. My heart would not let me be selfish. As hours became days, days turned into months, I gradually gained back my will to live. If it was not for my children, I would have preferred to be with my husband in the afterlife. My husband would not have wanted me to neglect the children, after all, he was a good father. He always talked about sending them to good schools and making them a doctor or an engineer. Every night before sleep he would discuss his dreams for the children with me. And you know, a poor man’s dreams and hopes are his most expensive possessions. So I worked. I toiled. I made day and night one. And with everything I earned I sent my children to school. Though they are not doctors and engineers, they have been brought up well and now they have their own families. And I have grandchildren to play with. I am sure my husband is watching us from above. I do not know if he is happy with the way I raised the children, but I know that I did my best. I did what I could."

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