A New Life

“It was what happened on the day of the carnival that changed my life. Back then, I used to work for the hydropower in Somdang. I had arranged for the hydro’s jeep to take the villagers up to the carnival. Everyone was happy and they thanked me for arranging the transport. I was happy too that my ageing mother was also going. The atmosphere in the vehicle was one of celebration. Everyone had put on their washed clothes. The jeep was full and it struggled to gain speed because the road was bad. We had somehow built it with our bare hands and some of our farming tools. There was no money and no engineers. One of my friend said, ‘Let me get out, I will walk some distance. If the jeep loses my weight then maybe it will be able to carry the rest of us.’ I insisted that he stay inside and that I would get off. I got off and walked around 20 metres ahead. When I turned back to see how the jeep was doing, it had started sliding backwards. Before anyone could vacate, and before I could think of anything, it plunged off the cliff. I lost all consciousness. When I opened my eyes again, the sound of wailing women deafened my ears. Someone came and whispered, ‘You are lucky to have escaped such a terrible accident, but I am sorry, my brother, your mother is no more.’ I do not remember if I cried. The villagers say that after that day I became mad for a period of time. They tell me that nothing I said made sense. They tell me that they had lost hope for me. After several months of thinking and talking to myself, I gathered all my senses. When I came out of it, I understood about this thing called life. All my life I have pursued happiness and I have never found it. There was always hope that maybe tomorrow will bring some happiness, some extra money, some extra food and maybe two more Yaks. And I let my time slip in these thoughts. But you see, I did not know the nature of life. Life does not take into account my plans. It does what it has to do, without asking me, without asking us. Life will decide for itself. It is with me today but it might not be with me tomorrow. I tell this to people but I do not think they understand what I am trying to say. They are worried about their future like I was once.”