(Part 8/8) “I have not cried during difficult times. If crying took away the tears, then everyone on this earth would do nothing but cry. When you have gone through everything, the only thing that you wait for is to die. I would like to live forever but now I know that to die is also a part of life and there is no way out of it. And I do not cry over that also. I see my children, the dead one in my dream and the living ones around me. I tell them what to foresee in life. They will soon know. Their time will come. They will know how to take care of their body. They will know about the hills and the cliff. They will also know that it is not possible to know the meaning of love. After having three daughters, my husband did not love me the way I would have wanted. And after having a son, love and happiness came back. But it went away when my only son died when he was 6 months old. He fell down while he was playing in the shed. A bolt of lightning struck us. Love and happiness disappeared. After that, I bore two children. Sons.
I have not lost hope still. I live with the aid of tablets. My broken ribs, my broken hand remind me of the pain. And no matter how difficult the pain is, I still want to live.